What does emotional intelligence look like in everyday life?

Have you ever wondered what emotional intelligence looks like in everyday life? In his excellent article “Signs of High Emotional Intelligence”, Justin Bariso identifies actions that illustrate how emotional intelligence appears in the real world which I have summarised below. I hope you love it as much as I do!

1. You think about feelings – self-awareness is about being aware of the way you feel and the impact your feelings can have on decisions, behaviour and performance. Self-awareness begins with reflection, asking yourself questions such as “how does my current mood affect my thoughts and decision making”, will give you valuable insights that can be used to your advantage.  

2. You pause – just taking a moment to stop and think before you speak or act will help you refrain from making a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion.

3. You strive to control your thoughts – although you don’t have much control over your emotions, you can control your reaction to these emotions – by focusing on your thoughts. “You can’t prevent a bird from landing on your head, but you can keep it from building a nest.” By doing this, you allow yourself to live in a way that is in harmony with your goals and values.

4. You benefit from criticism – nobody enjoys negative feedback but when you think of it as a chance to learn, you can reframe it. Instead of becoming defensive, when you receive negative feedback, you ask yourself “How can this make me better?”

5. You show authenticity – authenticity is about doing what you say you are going to do and being who you say you are – honouring commitments. You know that not everyone will appreciate your sharing your thoughts and feelings. But those who matter will. In the wonderful words of Dr. Seuss “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

6. You demonstrate empathy – when you are deeply aware of others, you are empathetic and truly understanding others’ thoughts and feelings helps you connect with them. When you strive to understand another’s point of view, you build deeper, more connected relationships.

7. You praise others – everyone craves acknowledgement and appreciation. You build trust with people when you focus on the good in others. Then by sharing what you appreciate, you inspire them to be the best version of themselves.

8. You give helpful feedback – you reframe criticism as constructive feedback so that it is helpful instead of harmful.

9. You apologise – when you apologise, it demonstrates humility that will naturally draw others to you.

10. You forgive – it allows you to move forward

11. You keep your commitments – when you keep your word in both the big and small things, you develop a strong reputation for reliability and trustworthiness

12. You help others – one of the greatest ways to positively impact others is to help them. When you help people, it builds trust and inspires other to follow your lead when it counts.

Which of these emotionally intelligent behaviours would you say you have demonstrated in the past 24 hours? How about the past week? Are there any that you feel could be developed? Contact us to find out how you show up to those around you and what steps you can take to be more aligned to the expectations of those around you, in other words, how to improve your emotional intelligence.